Why Do You Keep Assuming That...?
Some people are unable to engage in responsible and effective debates and arguments because either that they cannot separate themselves from personalizing the arguments. They can’t discern the difference between the issues and the person or they inject themselves in the conversations and personalize the arguments. But a rejection of ones argument is not rejection of person or self.
Further, the value of ones relationship should trump any assumption one has about what is said by a colleague or brother. If you feel strongly about the person you love but can’t accept their (apologetics) clarification of your assumption or you can’t allow your assumptions to be confirmed by your loved ones, and you run with your interpretation of things making decisions from that; then your relationship is less than the assumptions you have and your relationship was never valuable in the first place.
One may argue then that we must be careful what we say less we make an assumption which creates confusion. That’s a naive position, as it assumes that human beings are perfect and will always say careful things devoid of any assumption. Moreover, the confusion from assumptions are usually a result of ones own creation and inability to accept correction and clarification or we have doubts stemming from trust issues resulting from a myriad of missteps which may satisfy one’s devotion to one’s assumptions. Nevertheless, we are human beings who are subjective and also prone to making assumptions based on our intuitions.
Of course assumptions are helpful for they form a crotch or an aid and lense from which to engage. We always start from an assumption but then we must move to test our hypothesis so as to bring it to a logical conclusion and the process of doing so involves confronting the basis or foundation of the assumption and allowing secondary and primary evidence to support it. Especially if the assumption represents an indictable action requiring explanation which will preserve a valuable connection.
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